~Arilysal

Jane Lee

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Kindness is meant to be taken for granted?

Thu Sep 24, 2009, 5:32 AM

Mood: Confused

As thankful and grateful as i am for having so many caring and understanding colleagues in the office, sometimes i wonder why i even bother to be understanding to some. As frustrated as i am by some, i cannot even begin to imagine the frustration and unpleasantness felt by those of more senior position with more responsibility. I really salute people like Jason or Raymond or Ayon, especially Ayon, because he can smile through the most HORRIBLE deadline, and Jason for not killing himself sooner, and Raymond for not turning into a horrible emo person.

Something happened at the office, those close to me know of my frustration. I have tried to be patient and understanding yet some continue to test my tolerance. I'm not of a senior position, in fact, most of the time i am a medium (wo)man trying to soften the blow from my leader/superior to my team mates, or to defend them when i know they could not have any more time and energy to modify something from scratch. Of course if i need to be blunt i will be; i have to be a clown if i have to; or a canteen lady for providing treats if spirits need to be lifted, as i do not have the power (like giving incentives or raise) to encourage my team mates, sometimes i even take their task and make them mine when i could have just shove the work back to them. So i do whatever that is in my power to motivate people, because honestly, this industry is harsh and heartless when it comes to deadline. Still its pointless to live life grumpy, thats why i only take 2 sec to get grumpy, move on, and continue working. Yes i rant, yes i complain, yes i show my frustration, but i never give up on my work. I may slow down, but i will shift into 5th gear very soon.

See thats my viewpoint of life, why do you frown through every situation that you know is unfair and not to your liking when you can hum a tune to lift your spirit? Part of becoming a Christian that i have learn is never to let frustration get to you and always sing a tune as you work in the darkness. I love the strength my faith brought me, and when i am down i always remind myself that God will never give you a burden too heavy to carry, He will provide you the tools to make your life easier, you just have to keep an open heart and open mind to find them. I like to sleep over my problem, and my anger and frustration goes away after i'm fully engrossed with my work. I try not to keep any grudges and remain professional, but lately that has been getting more and more difficult because they keep reminding me why i was frustrated with them in the first place.

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~monkeideology Sep 25, 2009, 10:27:17 AM

ugghh, ya, some people really take it for granted. same goes here, with all the drama, excuses. cannot tahan the attitude. i guess in 1 bowl of rice, sure got 1 batu accidentally masuk and sometimes we chew it...

i adore ur makcik canteen way. its not compulsory, but it can boost the spirit in ur team. bravo! not everyone have think that way

all the little2 small things that u gave with love, like our parent gave us even sometimes we make them frustrated.

--
ctrl+S

~r41334t Sep 26, 2009, 12:35:10 AM

**hugzhugz**

it's tough being a leader with such deadlines that we face....but if God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it

--
God can turn your upside down life right-side up!

~Arilysal Sep 26, 2009, 5:09:52 AM

i love how you two have such nice analogies... hahahaha, i admit i dont like chewing batu either

*UntitledSpy Sep 27, 2009, 1:17:43 AM

I know that feeling, I've been there many times, and have taken bullets for people many a time, even when I probably shouldn't have because they needed to learn something. The thing about kindness is, that even though it doesn't always give you the warm fuzzy feeling, its still worth the shot. Kindness is taking the shot even when you know it hurts, even when you know that other person has no idea there was a bullet that needed stopping in the first place, or that you even took it for them. Sometimes that hurts more, but I notice it also sometimes feels more rewarding.

There is a time though when sometimes we need to step aside and let someone else carry you. Other times the person needs to know that the tension they cause isn't the most productive way of communication or to get the job done. A lot of the time, without help, they have no way of knowing they are causing tension in the first place. I've probably completely lost you now, and don't make much sense. That and completely gone off track from where you were going. Hahaha. But I do know what you mean, and I too try my very best to lift up and assist the people around me, especially those with higher positions because I'm always reminded (because God always knows the situation better then we do) that they too have their own deadlines and troubles of life, help my colleagues understand the brighter picture or what the manager was really trying to get at or why they may possibly have to go about a situation in what may appear a bleak way. They too are not given many choices to work with and sometimes make them look like the troll of the story, when in reality they are the middle man who has a dilemma on his hands and has to then try and come up with the best solution.

Kindness should never be taken for granted not by those who are receiving and not even by those giving it. But even when we don't get rewarded, we need to be reminded that God said what we sow, we will reap. It may not be in our time frame, but when we need it. And only God knows when that is. Often in the place we don't always see coming. You will find that reward, either further down the track or not far away. It may not even seem like we will some days, or from the same people we give it to, but we will receive it eventually.
Take heart

It will come some day. And those who may have taken your Kindness for granted or didn't see it before, will have a revelation of it someday and will really appreciate you in a new light.

I hope that helps.

--
"P.S. I love you."

~Arilysal Sep 27, 2009, 3:41:57 AM

thanks for the words of encouragement, no you didn't confuse me, i totally get where you're coming from. Sometimes people just need a slap upside down their head to realize their good fortune. Its not like i want to receive rewards for my good intention, but just wish people would wake up for their own good. I've done my part of talking to them, but sometimes its heart breaking to see them remain stubborn and venture down the path of self-destruction. I wasn't seeking anybody's approval of what i did, but i was merely ranting of people abusing the chances i gave them. To quote my colleague "you're too nice" LOL.